Thursday, May 1, 2014

The Writer's Voice- STEVE AND AUSTIN

Title: STEVE AND AUSTIN
Genre: MG Adventure with light Sci Fi element
Word Count: 43,000

Query:
Dear Writer's Voice Team,

11-year-old Jackson Solis lost both his legs when he and his bicycle tangled with a fast-moving SUV. He agreed to be a test case for new, state-of-the-art, experimental bionic legs. They’re faster and stronger than his old legs, but he hates them. Hates them! Because now he’s a freak-boy, not even able to play football at recess - if he did, he’d outrun everyone.

He decides to keep the bionics a secret so no one will know quite how different he really is. Only his parents and best friend know the truth. They’re nothing but proud and supportive, so they don’t mind making sure everyone else believes his new legs are just ordinary prosthetics. But keeping secrets is exhausting and so is the recovery from his accident. So really, the only fun he’s had in the last 6 months was deciding to name his legs “Steve” and “Austin”, after the main character of an old TV show about a bionic man.

Then one day, while visiting his Army colonel father at work, Jackson overhears a conversation about something that could destroy life as he knows it.

His father, who spouts Mexican idioms for just about every situation, is in charge of testing the Army’s brand new high tech helicopter spy gear. But someone is sabotaging it. If the tech is destroyed, his dad will be disgraced and maybe they would even have to move to a new Army post. Jackson would lose his best friend and everything he has left that’s normal, which he just couldn’t deal with.

He decides to investigate. He’s sure he can find out who’s behind the trouble – and catch him. After all, no one else can chase a bad guy faster than the kid with bionic legs.

STEVE AND AUSTIN, an MG Adventure with light Sci Fi elements, is complete at 43,000 words. Its fast-paced narrative will appeal to fans of Tony Abbot’s THE COPERNICUS LEGACY series and anyone who’s seen reruns of The Six Million Dollar Man. 

First 250:


Back when I was in second grade, my class went to see Slim Goodbody. You know, the guy with the stage show about being healthy, where he wears that shirt that shows all his internal organs? I thought it was pretty cool.  Apparently, my parents also saw his show when they were young, which means he’s ancient.
Anyway, he said this one thing that I can’t get out of my head now. He said, “If you hurt yourself, you can’t just go to Buddy’s Body Shop to replace your parts.”
Shows you how much he knows. Because that’s exactly what my parents were talking about right now, while they thought I was still sleeping. In the last few days, it’s all they EVER talked about.
 “But what if his body rejects them?” My mother was asking the doctor more questions. She always has a list of questions. She can’t help it; she’s a journalist. She says it’s like breathing; she has to ask things. “He’s only 11 years old. Isn’t he too young for something this experimental?”
“We don’t believe he will reject them, Mrs. Solis,” answered the doctor patiently. “We will grow skin and nerve grafts from stem cells. The process is extremely successful at reducing the chance of rejection.
Gross. They were talking about growing skin. But, also, kind of cool. For a minute, I forgot they were talking about my skin and wondered whether I could watch them do it.

28 comments:

  1. This is so good! I love the premise (AND the title!), and the fact that he wants to stay because of his best friend. Perfect MG vibe! Good luck in the contest!

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    1. Thank you, Annette! Good luck to you too!

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  3. I love that the MC names his legs after The Bionic Man TV show! Good luck!

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  4. Thanks Kathleen! Good luck to you too!

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  5. Great premise and great voice! Good luck!

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  6. Thank you so much, Katharine! Good luck to you too!

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  7. Great premise, and I love the title too! Best of luck!

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  8. Wow, this sounds so fun! And you have a great MG voice. Best of luck in the contest!

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    1. Thank you so much! I liked yours too - good luck to you!

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  9. That's it. *throws arms in the air* All of these MGs are too good to compete with. Good luck to you, Heather. This sounds amazing. - @DanielaT0rre

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    1. Thank you so much Daniela! Good luck to you too.

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  10. My son (the robot fanatic) would go crazy for this. Good luck!

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  11. Thank you, Angela! Good luck to you too!

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  12. Oh, I love this. I would totally read this. Love the voice. And I remember that shirt. I must be ancient, too! Good luck!

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    1. Thank you! Isn't Slim Goodbody fun?! He's like, this single thread that runs through SO MANY generations of childhood. :)

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  13. I WANT YOU!!! I'd really love to have STEVE AND AUSTIN in my team! I really like the title, too, btw!
    What I love about your query--it made me FEEL for Jackson, and then, when he's naming his legs, you made me smile. That's when I called my twelve-year-old to read, and, just as I thought, he really liked your entry too!
    I would have a few comments for both, the query and the first page. But nothing major. :) Oh, yeah, and Stacey loved your entry, too!
    I would really, really love it if you picked me back!! :D

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    1. I just realized I never wrote you back here, Monica! I went straight to Twitter. :)
      YES I would love to be part of your team - what an honor to be chosen! Thank you so much and I really look forward to working together to polish this query and first page until they shine.

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  14. This sounds amazing. Awesome query, and great voice in the opening pages.

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    1. Thank you so much, Lisa!!
      I love yours too - so glad to be on the same team!!

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  15. Heather- So excited to be on the same team as you! Congratulations! Your story sounds so interesting I want to read it now! Good Luck in the contest!!

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    1. Hi Missy! Me too - glad to be on the same team! Congratulations to you as well - your entry blew everyone, including me, away. This will be fun - best of luck to you.

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  16. I loved your entry and almost fought Monica for it, but since there was another MG sci-fi I also really liked I decided to pass. But I just LOVE your premise so much (it reminds me of a MG version of Machine Man by Max Barry, which is one of my husband's favorite books), and you have a strong MG voice. I know you will be in GREAT hands on Team Monica!

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    1. Hi Elizabeth -
      Thanks so much - I so appreciate your kind words. And I'm thrilled by your comment that I have a strong MG voice - what a wonderful thing to hear - especially from you!
      I am excited and honored to be the contest - it's going to be great fun.
      Best of luck to you and your team.

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